My griefshake brings all the armchair psychologists to the yard

I realize that, by writing so openly about my grief, I'm opening myself up to people's opinions. And I'm okay with that, to a point. But I've been pretty clear about what is and isn't reasonable and helpful (in particular, re-read the paragraph wherein I straight up tell y'all NOT to tell me what I need to do).

Evidently, not everyone got the message, because I was finally dozing off at somewhere around 2:30 this morning (yeah, it was a rough night), and I was awakened by a text. At 2:45 AM (2:43, actually).

Now, if you've been reading this blog, you've noticed that my window for sleep is generally between midnight and 4:00 AM. My phone has to stay on at all times: my 22-year-old son lives close by, and I'm his only family locally. So I need to be reachable in case of an emergency. A REASONABLE person would look at the clock and think, "hey, maybe I shouldn't text Kathleen in the middle of the night, because she might be sleeping." An even more reasonable person would look at the clock and think, "hey, maybe I shouldn't text Kathleen in the middle of the night, because she might be sleeping, and maybe I shouldn't text her at ALL to tell her what I think is the magic pill to solve her grief."

Sadly, not everyone is reasonable. Not only did this casual acquaintance think that it was perfectly okay to text me and wake me up at 2:45 AM - KNOWING that sleep has been a problem for me - she also thought it was perfectly reasonable to suggest that, hey! have I considered "whether Doug would want to see you in this emotional turmoil? ...what do you believe he would say to you?"

Well, GOLLY, EDNA, WHY DIDN'T I FUCKING THINK OF THAT? Of COURSE you're absolutely right! Doug wouldn't want me to be sad. I'm CURED! 🙄🤦‍♀️

Look, I get it: it's uncomfortable to just let someone sit in her grief. You want to say something to make it better, despite the fact that I've been really clear that you cannot make it better. RESIST the temptation. Unless you are A) my grief counselor, B) my therapist, or C) I ask you for advice, then don't give me advice. It's really that simple.

And texting or calling me in the middle of the night with that shit earns an instant block.

In a way, I envy you, casual acquaintance: you CLEARLY have not felt the pain I'm feeling.

Needless to say, there was no going back to sleep after that, so thanks a bunch!